In Which I Demonstrate That I Am Going To Hell

Once upon a time, back when the girl was a baby, I used to lurk on the Urban Baby message boards. It was like front row seats to a train wreck, a delicious mix of schadenfreude and wickedness. I weaned myself of that bad bad habit, but now there's Facebook, specifically the local "moms" page. It's almost as entertaining as Urban Baby used to be, and it's not anonymous.

I used to copy my favorites into a draft post, titled "Best of [   ] Moms". Then I felt bad and stopped doing that. In fact, I stopped lurking because it generally just infuriated me. But I never did delete the draft.

Typos, inanity, excessive punctuation, and a constant searching for honest and reasonable tradespeople: life in the suburbs.

• Would love a recommendation for an eyebrow specialist for my 12 year old for her Bat Mitzvah. Thanks. (No 12 year old needs her eyebrows done.)
• HOSE OR NO HOSE...Black or Nude
• Need some pet insurance advice, please..Our dog came from a good breeder so hoping there are no hidden genetical surprises and am thinking of higher deductible but have no idea. Sorry for inane question on a Sunday morning. (Genetical?)
• Does anyone know a good and cheap handyman that can fix a leaky faucet to a closet door? (Since when do closet doors have faucets?)
• (About middle school kids) These are their formidable years, when bonds and relationships are created. (Formidable!)
• Is anyone interested in buying a pair of brand new UGGs. Long story, but my 12 year old bought them on eBay and ended up with two pairs. She bought them for $90. Let me know if your interested. (Um, why is your 12 year old shopping on eBay?)
• Help mom's : Who to call to get my auto vacuum in the house fixed???? (Car vacuum or central vacuum?)
• I am looking for great closet stretching companies. Any recommendations? (How do you stretch a closet?)
• Can anyone recommend a reasonably priced built-in guy? (I think we all want a built-in guy.)
• Looking for a reliable and honest cleaning lady. Any recommendations would we helpful. Thanks !
• What are people giving for a cash gift at a black tie wedding? It's pretty fancy at the Mandarin Oriental and I'm not sure what the appropriate amount would be. (Sputter...the wedding venue does not the gift determine.)
• Hi. Can anyone recommend a reliable local psychic that does NOT use tea leaves (I am allergic) or a crystal ball (long story). Thanks in advance.
• Has anyone sprayed their lawn for tics? If so has it been effective and which company did you use? (Let's hope the lawn doesn't have Tourette's.)
• i need an excellent creative local accpontant to do my complicared tax return thanks
• Looking to get wood floors refinished. Has anyone hired someone great for this? Thank yo
• DOES ANYONE KNOW OF SOMEONE WHO PAINT ON MY WALLS .LIKE AN ARTIST TYPE OF PAINTER?