23 March 2012

To Have And To Hold

So different, this man
And this woman:
A stream flowing
In a field.



There’s a part of me that doesn’t believe in marriage. I resisted it for a long time, finally agreeing because my husband felt more strongly about getting married than I did about not being married. Besides, it’s a great excuse for a party and you get all sorts of weird presents.

And you know what? It’s nice. It’s nice to know that there’s someone there who’ll take care of you when you’re sick, and who does all the driving so you can knit in the car. It's great to have someone who understands just why those champagne glasses are so cringe-inducing and how weird it is that your aunt didn't even dry the decanter she must have found at a thrift shop. It's perfect if you marry someone who likes to polish the silver.

It’s good to divide up the tasks, because one of you will be better at loading the dishwasher, and the other will be better at small electrical repairs. Someone will be the tidy one and clean up after the cats, and someone will be much better at running the household finances. One of you will know lots of William Carlos Williams, and the other will know the latin names of perennials.

We’re different, he and I, just like I imagine Flutter and her Clay to be. But different is fine, different is good, so long as the pieces fit together, here, here and here, just so.

I’ve never met him, but her? The woman with the red lipstick and pale skin? She’s divine and he is, therefore, a sublimely lucky man.

Join me (and Emily) in wishing Flutter a big congratulations and all the love in the world.

9 comments:

  1. I love this & you. ;)

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  2. Oh! Seriously? My heart. Thank you you sweet sweet woman. I am touched beyond. I hope my marriage is as loving as yours and I hope I can be half the woman you are.

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  3. Anonymous2:33 PM

    Or, alternatively, "The combination of the King and Queen of the same suit, as in pinochle."

    XOXO

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  4. sigh. lovely piece. xo

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  5. "to have and to hold" is such a beautiful phrase, when you pull it out like that. I picture the tenderness of hands holding a bird, the fierceness of hugging arms around sobbing shoulders, two hands clasped as the pair walks down the street....

    this was lovely.

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  6. This post, just when I needed a little shot of idealism, is a lot like my marriage--there all along, and worth noticing. I've been married for 30 years this summer--longer than I was single.

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  7. Your writing is like poetry. I love this.

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