Dear Starbucks:
You want to provide service to the customer, right?
Well, if I ask for a cup of coffee with milk, put the milk in the coffee. Don't make me do it. Don't make me put all my bags down on the dirty floor, let go of my child's hand, wrench the lid off the top, locate the milk and unscrew its top, add milk (after spilling out some of the coffee), replace the lid, and gather up all my possessions.
And, lest you say that "everyone wants a different amount of milk", 1) you add the milk if I go through a drive-through, and 2) you put in the milk when you make a latte.
It makes me nuts.
It makes me want to go to a run-of-the-mill deli for lousy coffee, because THEY WILL ADD THE MILK FOR ME.
Service, people, service.
Do you have a pet peeve that you'd like to share today?
oh, yeah. mr./ms. cashier --
ReplyDeleteplease DO NOT stuff a wad of bills plus change plus the receipt and coupons i don't want into my hand, at the very moment you expect me to pick up my stuff and move along because you are already greeting the next customer.
i do NOT want a wad of receipt and coupons in my wallet with the money -- please put that in a bag. i do need a moment to get the change into my purse.
sincerely, the person who shops at least 3 times a week at your store
p.s. -- you can skip that thing about looking at the name on my debit receipt and thanking me by name, just before you hand me the wad of stuff to be sorted out. seriously.
Yes, to the comment above. I hate when they hand me my receipt, along with the cash.
ReplyDeleteBut even more, I absolutely hate when they put the change ON TOP of the cash. It's so hard to get that change off without dropping it all.
And I can't stand it when people walk really slowly down the sidewalk, so I push my stroller to pass them on the right but before I can pass they sort of wander to the right. So I go left and then they sort of wander to the left so I can't pass them all. I try a loud, polite, "excuse me" but they can't hear me because they are listening to their ipod.
Yeah, that irks me too.
But now I feel kind of better.
Dear Customer In Front Of Me In The Ten Items Or Less Checkout Line Of The Local Grocery Store,
ReplyDeleteI noticed you must have been held behind in school a time or six because at a quick glance, it looks like you have an item or forty-seven more than the allotted ten. It’s very kind and oh so friendly for you to turn to me smiling and advise me you are late for your gynecologist appointment….did you remember to call them and let them know you wouldn’t be on time this afternoon? Maybe you and Mrs. Hefflefinger could merge your appointments and just hop on up on the examination table together to keep your doctor’s schedule from getting too much further behind.
Oh wait…..weren’t those seventeen different types of cereal on sale? They’re not ringing up as if they were. Hurry, run down isle six and make sure I didn’t misread that sign I think I saw, I don’t mind waiting, that’s why I’m here in THE EXPRESS LANE!
Oh goody! You’re writing a check! And you’ve had ALL of this time to fill out the check with the required information all except for the amount. WHAT?!?!?!? You didn’t do that? Oh yes, I failed to see you were on the phone with your daycare advising them little Johnny would be staying until the very last possible minute this evening as you and all of your girlfriends were meeting at Starbucks for a cup of coffee with milk.
Thank you for taking the nanosecond you did and listening to my tiny, itty-bitty, little ole complaint.
Most Sincerely,
Her Royal Highness, Queen Goob
I love the "lest you say" paragraph. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteHere is my peeve-of-the-day: When I say I am going to pick up my child from a playdate at 5 p.m., do not let her start watching a 90-minute movie at 4:45. THIS WILL ONLY END BADLY.
One more excellent reason to never go to Starbucks. I have successfully avoided this so far in my life. You've just given me a reason to continue this trend.
ReplyDeleteOh, I love you cranky people.
ReplyDeleteI must be in a very good mood because I can't even think of a peeve right now.
Why Why Why must I order in anything other than small medium or large. Did anyone see the Dunkin Donuts commercial making fun of ordering in "Fratalian"? Their coffee is better, cheaper and they put in the milk!!! It doesn't taste burnt.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this opportunity.
ReplyDeleteIf you are going to turn left at the bottom of the hill, and many people are waiting to turn and go UP the hill, use your %$#@& signal!
just stop ma'aming me everyone.
ReplyDelete"I would like a cheeseburger"
ReplyDelete"do you want cheese on that?"
@#!$%!
Oh, here's mine!
ReplyDeleteIf you try to step into the subway car and/or elevator car and/or onto the bus while I am trying to get OUT with my kids and the stroller and my bags and you don't MOVE and you look IRRITATED at me? I may go all profanity-laced CRAZY on you. Someday soon.
Whew. That felt good.
Oooh I love it when you are cranky.
ReplyDeleteYour so pretty when you are wanting to rip someone a new arse.
When you hand me change from my twenty, please don't throw a pile of coinage on top of the bills. Just how is one to manage that money? I know I am echoing something someone else said but once more: count backwards from the cost with the coins, then put the bills into my hand. Don't rush me.
ReplyDeleteHey! That means you there behind me in line, too.
ok, this goes back a ways, but I'm still P.O.ed about it.
ReplyDeleteTwo years ago I used to buy tiny dark chocolate squares at starbucks. They were something like 50 cents each. And because it was at starbucks and not my house, I wouldn't eat 30 or 40 of them at a time. It fit into my budget and my post-baby weight loss plan. (a plan which must take into account my cravings as well as my addictive personality...)
But then the new CEO of the company (the cashier told me) eliminated the chocolate squares because the company was looking to cater to the healthier, south beach diet following masses. They were replaced with little bags of almonds, which did not satisfy my daily chocolate craving with a portion-controlled size of chocolate, nor did it contain all the amazing antioxidants dark chocolate does (at least that's what I keep telling myself). Plus, if you take my chocolate away, I'm going to be fucking cranky.
Not to mention, they KEPT all the baked goods. And let me tell you, that reduced-fat cinnamon coffee cake? NINE weight watchers points! NOT a sensible choice for someone who is looking to lose weight. A tiny dark chocolate square is a much more sensible choice.
(back when they had the tiny chocolate squares the drive-thru cashiers were too incompetent to know what I was talking about when I requested them. I described the size and color of the wrapper and their exact location by the register. "we don't have them" they insisted. So after I got my freaking decaf non-fat latte with one splenda, I would park in the lot, run into the coffee shop with the baby, wait in line AGAIN and then point out to the cashier -- "hey, this is what I was talking about." I would give the cashier 50 cents and then WAIT while they entered the 97-digit code into the cash register. You'd think they'd remember this. But when I returned "we don't have them" again.)
I have seen the chocolate squares back at starbucks lately. But I am so OVER starbucks now.
I wish Starbucks would not charge me extra for soymilk in my soy chai latte. I am not taking milk, so they get that bonus, and I should NOT be charged money as if I am getting milk AND soymilk when I am only getting soymilk.
ReplyDeleteKWIM?
You know - McDonald's coffee is now excellent. And they get my milk and sweetener right EVERY time.
ReplyDeleteSo. True. That's why I'm a Dunkin' Donuts girl. They put the cream *and* sugar for ya. =)
ReplyDeleteI wish their too small coffee bags weren't made out of non-recyclable material, so I wouldn't have to throw out so many bags each week/month.
ReplyDeleteMy big pet peeve is and always will be idiot smokers who choose to flick their cigarette butts out the window as if it's no big deal. It is littering people! Might as well wad up your trash and throw it out too. Just because you don't want that smelly butt in your car shouldn't be everyone else's problem. Geez.
ReplyDelete