The other morning, I saw a child in a stroller, "reading" the Hanna Andersson catalogue. Starting consumerism early? Picking out his winter wardrobe? Looking for things for his Christmas list?
While waiting for my lunch, I heard the expeditor order "BLT, hold the bacon". Hold the bacon? Isn't that the point of a BLT? Especially when the place uses Niman Ranch bacon?
And last week, I was sitting in my boss's office, gazing out the window at the rooftop across the street, when I spotted a guy on the roof having a smoke and taking a leak.
Those are the signs the end times are nigh...;)
ReplyDeleteAahh, NYC, there's no place on earth that's quite the same.
ReplyDeleteI lived in India for a few months, a decade ago, and TO THIS DAY cannot see a man with his back to me on the street without assuming he's peeing. Strange.
ReplyDeletecatherine
What does it say about me that that last anecdote simultaneously grosses me out/makes me homesick.
ReplyDeleteOh Manhattan, how I miss you.
oh yes, the first one rings very true -- too true.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, and you missed my twins hanging upside down, like bats, off the handrails in the museum elevator. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteAs babies and toddlers, my kids loved the free children's books aka catalogs for kids that come in the mail.
ReplyDeleteSo many picture of babies and kids...woo hoo!
They thought it was another baby sign language or baby loves color books LMAO.
I'm going to hell, aren't I, for lying to my kids all the time.
Julie
Using My Words
I love this "series" of yours.
ReplyDeleteKosher BLT! It's like ham for Hanukkah.
ReplyDeleteNow that is multitasking. Wouldn't want to waste any time on that smoke break to go pee!
ReplyDeleteHolding the bacon should be outlawed.
ReplyDeletegive ME the bacon. i'll hold it.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I often "forget" the L and T.
ReplyDeleteIf I'm not fast enough in getting them to the recycle bin, my kids like to read toy catalogues.
ReplyDeleteIn a lifetime long ago, I was a bus-riding city dweller. I looked out the window one day and saw a man in a truck masturbating while waiting at the red light. At least your rooftop pee-er wasn't operating heavy machinery at the time. Yuck.
Oh my gosh - how funny! When I was a little kid, a baby even, my mom would put me to bed with the Sears or JC Penny catalogue because I wouldn't go to sleep. I remember sitting there and picking out one thing on every page that I wanted! Now, I absolutely hate shopping!
ReplyDeleteMy son reads catalogs on the toilet. Really. Can't poop without them.
ReplyDeleteEmily R
oh who dares order such a blt?! i banish him/her to a cheese sandwich!! although i love cheese sandwiches.
ReplyDeleteHome sweet home. How I miss the idiosyncrasies that make NY a place in and of itself.
ReplyDeleteHaving a smoke AND taking a leak? Off the roof? LOL...
ReplyDeleteA. "hold the bacon"
ReplyDeleteQ. "What are words Dawn will never ever say?"
Your BLT story reminds me that in college, the dining hall used to serve something labeled "vegetarian chile con carne"
ReplyDeletei would order a BLT hold the LT... and the bread.... ;)
ReplyDeleteand peeing and smoking. on top of a building. that just seems dangerous.